God is good to me

Well I have officially survived 19 months walking in these new shoes on what has been described as a marathon journey through widowhood.  Not sure what mile marker I am at by now but some days I feel like my heart and emotions are rounding the corner to the finish line and then other days…

I want to live like that!!!

As I prepared my heart and mind for the one year anniversary of my loves entrance into Heaven I had spent the two days before August 13th alone praying, reading, reflecting.  I spent many hours rereading the cards, letters, messages that hundreds of family and friends sent me over the year. God impressed several things…

Make a wish…

My first birthday since losing Todd recently passed.  As I celebrated with two dear friends in Napa, CA I could not have asked for a better day.  What I mean is all things considered with my new adjusted life I celebrated in a place I had always dreamed of going and was surrounded by Gods…

He is still the man of my dreams…

After struggling to fall asleep Thursday night, I think I laid in bed for an hour until after midnight and then once I was good and asleep I heard a little voice come through my door saying, “Mommy I pee peed in my bed”, it was 1 AM and I was forced to get up…

Dear Todd, It has been 9 months!

Sweetheart, It is hard to believe 9 months has passed since you relocated to Heaven.  I can only imagine the amazing party you are are having there.  Jackson says you are probably playing football and I bet you are worshiping Jesus with Carla, Poppy and Granny and a whole slew of others!!  Whatever you are…

8 months and counting…

  It has been 8 months since my love was taken up to Heaven and half my heart was taken from my body.  It may seem odd to be counting down the months.  I think back to the times in my life where I counted down days and months.  The first time I remember counting…

What I miss…

I miss…  his HUGE wrap me up tight hugs,  his smile, his hand in mine, his kiss his laugh him laughing and playing with our kids the way he would pray for me when I was tired, hurting or discouraged or just because he could sense I needed it. his spiritual leadership and wisdom  his…

Walking through darkness…

Oh how my life which seemed to be more focused and filled with love and light seems at times now to be surrounded by darkness!  The daily reminders of my new life that my heart continues to fight against as I navigate through life as a widow and single Mom,  me a widow I am…

Dear Todd

December 31, 2011 Dear Todd, Today marks 5 months since you left us and went home to Heaven.  I still have a hard time believing it! I have managed to survive our anniversary, the first day of school, attending Jackson’s football games alone, purchasing a new car, Halloween, Thanksgiving and now Christmas.  I guess I…