Let the blog begin…

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So I have been blown away with how many friends old and new along with my family have reached out to me since the passing of my high school sweetheart, best friend, soul mate, pastor, Daddy to my children almost 4 months ago!  The love I have received reminds me of God’s grace which is simply, unmerited favor.  I know I have done nothing to deserve or earn it yet it comes and has come often since the moment many of you heard the news and you continue to share with me the moments that you think of me and my children or when you see or hear something that reminds you of Todd or us.  The love and support has blown me away!! Many of you are truly being the hands and feet of Jesus, wow!! This has truly been one of the most terrible, difficult and most surreal things I have ever walked through.  I still have days where I feel like I am living in a dream, this CAN’T be my life!!

On August 12th we were traveling to Joplin, MO to help with the tornado relief, it was a beautiful day and there was a lot of laughter and great conversation in our van.  I was feeling as though I was on top of the world with ministry, marriage, family etc… and then 24 hours later I was sitting in a hospital in a city where that was not familiar wondering if my husband who I thought had had a heat stroke would be okay.  Within 15 minutes of waiting my worst fear came true, the doctor told me Todd’s heart had stopped and it didn’t look like he would make it.  I knew I had to be dreaming, the doctors words did not register, this was not happening!!  My husband so full of life, so full of passion and zeal for Jesus who was in Joplin serving and loving the devastated community just an hour earlier could not be dead!  As I faced my new reality and that my love and life partner was indeed dead I thought I may stop breathing myself.  I wanted to scream and cry out to God, NO  but instead I just cried and held my precious Todd who was once so warm and full of life, love and joy and was now cold and lifeless.  I remember thinking how in the world am I going to do this how am I going to make it, I have lived life with this man so long…  fast forward 4 months and as many of you who have kept up with me on Facebook we are making it,  one painful, small step at a time AND God is still GOOD, I am seeing once again just how Faithful He is!  He has taken such great care of me and my children. He has surpassed all my expectations and is slowly easing even my worst of fears!!  My kids continue to amaze me with their resilancy, faith and love of life even in the midst of  grief and adjusting to our “new normal” which doesn’t seem so normal to ME!  So the next time life takes you through something that blind sides you and literally shakes you to the core I pray you can with God’s strength and love walk through the fire, knowing you are NOT ALONE.  I know that God is not done with me and my kids yet, He does have a plan in all this I’m just not sure what that looks like yet.   So as I reflect on the past 24 mostly beautiful and amazing years of my life I hope you will join me as I share my thoughts, prayers, letters, stories, sorrows, joys, encouragements and more.  I am not sure all that God has in store and how He will use this but my hope and prayer is that you will find something here that may comfort or encourage you or someone you know who may be walking down a difficult or similar road.

Oh and as a side note I am not a writer or someone who is good in grammar so for you English teachers and grammarians I will just apologize in advance.  This is mainly a place for me to process and share things that I think will be helpful for me and my kids later and possibly for a book somewhere in the future =)

Psalm 9:10 “Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you!”

Thanks for reading and most of all for praying!!

Living for more!

Cassi

 

Author: Cassi Wortham

I am a follower and lover of Jesus Christ, he saved me at the age of 10 but it wasn't until I was 22 that He completely captured my heart! I married my high school sweetheart, Todd Wortham in 1993 and enjoyed 18 years of an amazing marriage, love, two precious children and incredible ministry together!! God called Todd home on August 13, 2011 and this blog is part of my journey to get to the other side of grief. I pray you will find hope, love, joy and encouragement first and foremost in the arms of Jesus and that God will use this blog to help you truly LIVE FOR MORE!!

30 Responses to "Let the blog begin…"

  1. Renee Casey Posted on December 2, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    Thanks for those words Cassie—– hold on– lean on–rely on—GOD– for it is HE who carries all of us

    • cassiwortham Posted on December 2, 2011 at 5:19 pm

      I sure will =)

  2. Carolyn Wilson Posted on December 2, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    Cassi,
    Thanks so much for being willing to share so honestly.
    I didn’t get to spend as much time with you and Todd, but the time I did spend was a definite blessing.
    I’m looking forward to keeping up with you through this blog.
    You and your kids are in my thoughts and prayers often.

    Blessings,

    Carolyn

    • cassiwortham Posted on December 2, 2011 at 5:18 pm

      Thanks Carolyn! I too enjoyed getting to meet you and am thankful for you in taking the time to read this and pray for us!!

  3. Rosie Barrios Posted on December 2, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    Cassie, I have known you for such a very short time and from the moment I met you I knew you were special. I did not know Todd but I assumed he must have been a special human being the way you talked about him and the love was projected in your words. I admire your tenacity, your devotion and your special faith in our Lord. May he protect you and your children, guide through your and their lives and hopefully our paths will continue for a very long long time. Thank you for always being so kind and giving and loving.

    • cassiwortham Posted on December 2, 2011 at 5:17 pm

      Rosie thank you for your kind words! God has been a part of my life since I was 10 and I am grateful for how close and faithfully He has walked with me all these years! I know I would not make it without HIM!! I too am blessed by knowing you sweet Rosie and am grateful God gave me the desire and ability to teach ZUMBA in Wells Branch so that I could get to know you! I too hope we can share life together for many years to come!!

  4. Kristi Posted on December 2, 2011 at 5:21 pm

    Bravo my friend! This will be the best outlet for you! And for all of us who are hanging on your every word for ways to trust in our Lord – in our own lives. I’m proud of you for taking this first step. Love you.

    • cassiwortham Posted on December 2, 2011 at 5:25 pm

      Thanks Kristi! Been thinking about you a lot lately! We need to catch up soon!! Love you too!

  5. Carlos Posted on December 2, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    Sweet Cassi,

    I am so proud of you and the woman you have become in Christ. I know he will continue to carry you through the most difficult time.

    I love you and as always here for you.

    Dad

  6. Lynn Thompson Posted on December 2, 2011 at 7:22 pm

    Cassi,

    Thank you for posting the link– it is really wonderful and a privilage to have you share your thoughts and feelings with us all! I am glad to hear how you and the kids are doing– you are such an amazing woman and an inspiration to all.I think about and continue to pray for you, Jackson, and Bethany.

    As I have said before, you, Todd, and your family truly have been an inspiration and I am so glad that I had you all enter into my life– as it has been a part of the walk I am on and continues to help motivate me when I feel I am straying away.

    God Bless,
    Lynn

  7. Virginia Posted on December 2, 2011 at 7:35 pm

    So excited you are doing this. It will be great for you and great for us who pray for you and most of all, it will be such an encouragement for so many when they don’t feel they cant go on.

  8. Turtle Posted on December 2, 2011 at 7:53 pm

    So glad to see you writing in a blog. I have one that I use daily rather its good or bad news & it does help.
    God bless you & your family during these holidays & all the days to come.

    Hugs Turtle

  9. Chris Hansard Posted on December 2, 2011 at 7:56 pm

    Beautifully stated! Keeping you in our prayers!!!

  10. Cindy Thomas Posted on December 2, 2011 at 9:34 pm

    Your blog reminds me of the book “Beyond the Sorrow” by Tammy Trent. I saw her in concert at Great Hills Baptist Church, Aug. 2001. She touched many of our hearts with her personality, awesome voice, and the magic she had with her husband Trent (he played the keyboard and was her stage manager). You could see their faith was so strong, not just in her music but her words and expressions. Her husband died the next month in a diving accident while on a mission trip in Jamaica (part mission trip/part vacation). As they searched for her husband’s body the next morning, she watched the news as two planes crashed into the Twin Towers in New York. You can clearly see God’s grace in her stories, music and books. You are ministering to others thru your blog. When we see your strength (that you don’t realize you have) we see God’s hand in your life and how he has worked in you. Your an inspiration to us all, even ones that don’t know you!

    • Cassi Wortham Posted on December 6, 2011 at 8:47 pm

      Wow Cindy I have not heard about Tammy but thanks for sharing that! I am continually amazed at how God is working and using all this. To Him be the glory!!

  11. Jenny Kopke Posted on December 2, 2011 at 10:29 pm

    Cassi,
    You were on of the 1st people that I met here in Austin. I will never forget sitting in your house and talking with Todd about the military, family life and Jesus Christ, You are an amazing woman and I’m better for knowing you and Todd. No matter where the Marine Corps takes us, I will always think about you and your family when we reflect back on Texas. You are an amazing, stong, beautiful, confident woman and I can’t wait to see what God has in store for you!

    • Cassi Wortham Posted on December 6, 2011 at 8:45 pm

      Thank you so much for your kind words Jenny!! I am thankful that God brought your sweet family into our neighborhood and that we have had the chance to get to know y’all! God is still good!!

  12. Sharon Posted on December 2, 2011 at 11:32 pm

    Hey girl!! Adding your blog to my blog sidebar. I started my blog during our adoption journey and although I don’t post near like I used to (my life is just not that exciting) I do enjoy following blogs of those who challenge my faith, encourage and inspire me. Although I HATE the reason that led you to your blog I know you will be one I will follow as you will inspire me to LIVE FOR MORE!!! Love you my friend!

    • Cassi Wortham Posted on December 6, 2011 at 8:56 pm

      Thanks Sharon! I bet your life and certainly your wisdom is something that people would be very interested to hear! I too hate the reason that lead to this but am praying for God to use it big time and I think He already is. Which is so crazy to me to think anyone would care what I have to say or what’s going on with us. I am humbled by it all and am not taking this blog lightly. I pray it can be a way for people to connect or reconnect with the Lord as I share my life.

      Love you too!!

  13. Barb Hewitt Posted on December 3, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    Our short but fun time together in Cozumel reminds me that you never know what impact a chance meeting will bring. Todd was bigger than life and the two of you were just as charming and fun as can be. Now your letting us walk with you on the hardest journey of your life. Congratulations on starting this blog. May it be a place of healing for you and your kids and inspiration for all that read it. Love you, Cassi.

    • Cassi Wortham Posted on December 6, 2011 at 8:53 pm

      Oh thank you Barb! What a fun and most memorable trip it was to Cozumel, one I will never forget. I still have those crazy palm tree cups from Alberto’s and remember what a blessing it was to meet you all too! We don’t ever know what life will bring and how long we have. SO glad our paths crossed and thank you for staying in touch!

      Love you too!!

  14. elisa Posted on December 3, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    Thank you for living your life so transparently. We are all blessed because of it! I can’t wait to see what will come out of your obedience to Him!

  15. Fran Moore Posted on December 3, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    Cassi,
    My friend Barbara G. gave me your blog link. My husband died on July 23 after a 12 year battle with cancer. She gave me a printed copy of a piece you wrote that begins, “As my journey up the mountain of grief…”. Barbara knew me well enough to know that your words would resonate with me. I told her it felt as though I had written them myself! I write, also, and find it very healing. Your Todd and my Scott would have been great friends, I’m sure.

    I find it very comforting to know with certainty that there is no distance in Christ, and that our husbands are working together at the hand of God.

    Blessings,
    Fran

    • Cassi Wortham Posted on December 6, 2011 at 8:50 pm

      That is a sweet thought Fran! Thanks for reaching out to me and I will be praying for as you are on your own journey through grief.

      Blessings to you too!
      Cassi

  16. June Apprill Posted on December 4, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    You are a blessing for many, Cassi. I know that the Lord is going to use you in a mighty way – not sure how but in His own way and in His time. Keep on trusting and leaning on Him who cares so very much. There are so many things we don’t understand but He has told us that we only know in part.

  17. Wanda Escobar Posted on December 6, 2011 at 10:43 pm

    I thought about Todd last night just before bed and missed him and cried. I don’t do that all the time but it still hits me in waves. The both of you have made such an impact in my life that I can’t even measure it. I’ve only lost one other person in my life whom I loved so much and who loved me and accepted me unconditionally and that was my dear grandma. I’m so blown away by your strength and at times feel guilty for how upset I can get when I think about Todd because I know my pain of losing him cannot even compare to yours. However, I am very grateful for how God is taking care of you and it brings me peace and comfort to know how well you and the kids are doing despite how very difficult I know it is for you. I love that you’ve got this blog and I believe it will be a great tool for your healing. It’s already helping me. Thank you for sharing. I love you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!

    • Cassi Wortham Posted on December 6, 2011 at 10:53 pm

      Thanks for sharing that Wanda! It does amaze me but does not surprise me how many people deeply loved Todd. I think it was because his love and passion for Jesus is what motivated to love and truly care about people so much and I think he did it in such a way like I have never seen before. It was a true gift he had! I love that his life and love touched you and your family so much. He would want you to know that he so loved you and your precious family and would want you to continue to Live for More!

      Love you to soooo much!!

  18. Carla Pennington Posted on April 7, 2013 at 7:49 am

    Cassi, having heard your story when Todd passed away, it was a true pleasure to meet you this weekend. Praying God will continue to bless and use you in your choice to cling to him rather than run from him in the midst of your pain. I love that Todd himself was able to help change your perspective on the brevity of this life and the sadness it contains in comparison to eternity. No doubt your willingness to openly share your walk will encourage those who need to hear the truths you must painfully learn.

    I’m just starting to read your blog. Something tells me it will be one that I’ll zip through to get current, but will return to read it again more slowly in order to absorb it in small bites. Thanks for writing it down for us.

    • Cassi Wortham Posted on April 8, 2013 at 7:26 pm

      Dear Carla,

      It was a real pleasure meeting you and so many of the wonderful women at HCBCGT!! Thank for your kind words and for taking the time to read my blog. It has definitely been a way for me to share more of my life with others and has been a big part of my journey toward healing!

      By Gods grace may we Live For More!
      Cassi

  19. Carla Pennington Posted on April 7, 2013 at 7:55 am

    When the date on my previous comment posted, I realized it was April 7 – exactly 17 years since the Easter Sunday when we gathered in Georgetown for our first official Sunday worship together as the first church plant from HCBC. What a wonderful ride its been to walk with our great God all these years on this great adventure! Praise him for Todd’s and your work in Wellls Branch!

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